Science Destroys The World
Word to the wise for all you bullies out there — be careful which nerds you pick on. Live-Action Role-Playing geeks? Completely safe. Computer nerds? Iffy, since they could hack into Citibank and destroy your credit. Physicists? Big trouble — there are dozens of ways that physics experiments could endanger or destroy the entire world. In this article, we walk through a couple of the fantastic scenarios under which that pencil-necked-geek you swirlied back in high school gets his revenge on you. And everyone else.
Cracked.com beat me to the punch and did a hilarious article on the five experiments most likely to destroy the world. The LHC plays a part in three of the five. Or, as Cracked.com calls it, “The Large Goddam Hadron F*ing Collider”. As Cracked.com says, “F*ck science”. Follow the link to my article to read about all the various accusations I could find about the LHC’s danger to the universe.
Maybe it doesn’t surprise you that research on nuclear weaponry runs the risk of destroying the planet, but this particular wrinkle I discuss will surprise you. Turns out, the physicists at the Manhattan Project thought it possible that the first atomic bomb test might set fire to the world’s atmosphere. Dodged that bullet, eh? Ha ha ha! Whew! Cough. I need to sit down…
But don’t sit down there! That puddle of glop is hungry. It may look like something growing in the TimeBlimp locker room showers (don’t ask), but it might be composed of tiny nanorobots with an insatiable hunger. Follow the link to read about why you need to really, really be sure that the “off” button works on your nanorobot.
Turns out we may not have to go through all the trouble of manufacturing nanorobots or gargantuan colliders to end the universe. We may have already doomed ourselves, simply by looking up at the stars. What the hell were we thinking?
Turns out not everyone thought sending nudie pictures engraved on a plaque into deep space was a good idea. Some folks think our attempts to contact alien life are the equivalent of putting out a galactic billboard saying, “Eat at Earth’s”.
Might as well mention a couple of the interesting ways that nature could take care of the job herself, including an alleged black hole hitting Siberia a few decades ago, and a mysterious explosion on the moon. Serves ’em both right, if you ask me.