Natalie Portman’s EBS Number

Natalie Portman

      If by chance you’ve already heard of any of this crap, you’ve probably heard of Natalie Portman, probably the most famous person with an Erdos number.

Bacon Number:  Is there any doubt?  She was soooo close to a Bacon number of uno, thanks to the movie “New York, I Love You” but apparently Bacon’s scenes were left on the cutting room floor.  Unless you’re willing to count DVD extras, Natalie sits at a Bacon number of 2.

Erdos Number:  Apparently, Ms. Portman is uhhh, smart and stuff — she passed on attending the red carpet for the premiere of Star Wars Episode 1 to study for her high school exams.  She also got herself a coauthorship on a psychology paper while an undergrad at Harvard that nets her an Erdos number of five.

Sabbath Number:  The weakest link here is her shameful lack of a professional music career — I mean, what the hell?  How lazy can you get?  Get going on that pop music career, Portman!  If that is your real name!  (hint:  it isn’t.)  She has starred in several music videos, but that’s not good enough — you can’t sneak your way to the Center of the Universe.  More promising, she was a preteen member of the World Patrol Kids, an ersatz Menudo for the save-the-earth crowd.  (“Ersatz Menudo” would be a fantastic band name, someone get to work on that.)  If you’re feeling inferior to Ms. Portman, pick yourself up a bit by checking out the World Patrol Kids’ video on youtube, where you’ll discover it wasn’t only your adolescence that was awkward.  But we can do even better — she recently guested on The Lonely Island’s brilliant comedy album “Incredibad” on the song “Natalie’s Rap”, her debut in Gangsta Rap.

I originally worked out a Sabbath Number of 7 from Incredibad, but humongous nerdy thanks to Andy Campbell Smith (follow him, @yon_fool on twitter) who has gotten this number down to FOUR.   Andy sent me his derivation by email:

Tony Iommi (0) recorded Goodbye Lament on his 2000 album Iommi with …
Dave Grohl (1), who played drums on Tenacious D’s self-titled album with …
Jack Black (2), who did guest vocals on the track Sax Man with …
the Lonely Island (3) on their album Incredibad, which also featured …
Natalie Portman (4).

Damn, well done!  Puts my seven to shame!  (Not that the bar was very high for my shame — I note that I had mistakenly called Lonely Island “Lonely Planet”.  Apparently now I’m a doddering old grandfather.   Would you like a Werthers?)  Ms. Portman therefore has a combined Erdos-Bacon-Sabbath number of Eleven!

© 2011 TimeBlimp Thith ith a pithy statement. Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha